Limbo

I am in a state of Limbo with one foot in Mexico and the other in the US. To be truthful, I am physically in the US, and won't return to Mexico until Jan 10th. I have a bank account in the US, and mailing address (mom's) and a US Passport. Yet, I dont really feel like I can get involved in anything or start any new friendships here because I'll just be leaving soon. Its a strange feeling, but I'm getting used to the idea that my life seems to be transient between these two beautiful countries.

I especially like the places where I like to say I'm from and that I will like to say I'll be living. I like to say I'm from Kentucky. Kentucky is sort of an underdog state- underappreciated and little known by many people, yet culturally rich and beautiful. Northern friends and relatives use a kentucky hillbilly accent to be funny and sound ignorant, they call us rebels and ask if we wear shoes and such.

Chiapas is similar. In my opinion it is the best part of Mexico- absolutely beautiful with canyons, waterfalls, jungles, and giant mountains. However, I believe it is also one of the poorest and less educated states. At the same time people from Chiapas tend to have their own way of speaking that is considered ignorant to big city types and suffer stereotypes of being questioned why they didnt bring their donkey and leather sandals with them.

Anyway that said, I am leaving beloved Kentucky for awhile and trading it for equally exciting Chiapas. People keep asking me what I'm doing and I tell them I have a job teaching english because its easier. But the truth is that I HAD a job which somehow turned out to be a misunderstanding. After reading opinions on a ESL chat about the school where I was going to be working, it seems to be that the director of the school hates americans and that is the very good reason why she rudely offered the job and then decided it was 'no longer available.'

So its a little scary what I am doing, because I'm essentially moving to a new place, spending money on a plane ticket and all, with no promise of a job or secure income, which will be needed quite soon as my money is running out. I have some schools to go to still and I can advertise to give private lessons, so all is not lost.

I have been home since December 20th, enjoying the holidays and the US. My favorite things about the US are my family and friends. Other more superficial things I have enjoyed this trip include indian/thai food, pleasant non agressive driving, excellent shopping/christmas sales, cookies, and cold. The best thing for me about this trip back is that it has helped me realize there are things I miss about the US, but Louisville is not this dream world I have been imagining it to be when I feel lonely and foreign, and without the same circumstances and people that made up my pleasant memories, it could become just as miserable a place as any. I am discovering that it is not so much a place, the things to do, or the weather that make a good experience but the people and my personal attitude.

If I could just remember that when I am feeling homesick in 2 months.

Oh well, anyway I'm excited to embark on this new adventure (with no return date as of now)!

As always, thanks for reading!